Going to therapy doesn’t have to be scary. In fact, therapy can and should be a place for the ultimate in self-care. It’s a place for you to feel seen and heard, to be nurtured and supported as you navigate your way through difficult challenges in your life. In our ordinary day-to-day life, it’s so rare that we experience someone’s full attention or feel we’re listened to deeply. Therapy is one of those places where we can stop and reflect, share our experience, and be heard and accepted unconditionally.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of myths out there about what therapy is and what happens during a therapy session. If you believe the tales, you can end up putting off therapy during a time in your life when it could be especially beneficial, or you may choose to avoid it altogether.

Here are some common myths and the more truthful reality of what therapy is and can be for you:

Myth #1: Therapy is only for people with serious problems.

The reality is:

Sometimes people can be so afraid of heading to therapy that they put it off until things become really dire. But it doesn’t have to be that way. The reality is that therapy can be helpful not just for the major life challenges, but also for navigating transitions, exploring parts of yourself, or finding ways to build a more meaningful and happy life. The benefits of therapy are vast and can include:

• Increasing self-esteem,

• Accomplishing personal and career goals,

• Nurturing stronger and more connected relationships,

• Developing healthy habits, and,

• Gaining deeper awareness and self-understanding.

Myth #2: Therapy is just about rehashing your childhood.

The reality is:

When you get started with therapy, your therapist will usually ask about your past experiences, your family, and your experiences as a child. While the experiences we have as we’re growing up do influence how we view ourselves, others, and the world, it’s not the sole focus of therapy - unless you want it to be. A more holistic approach to your concerns will include some exploration of your earlier life history, but it will also focus (perhaps even more intensively) on your present life and your goals for the future.

Myth #3: Therapy is just an expensive venting session.

The reality is:

The typical advice to someone struggling with a challenging emotional situation might be, “You should talk to someone.” So why not just talk to a friend, or your mom, or your spouse, or your dog? All of those sources of support can certainly be helpful, yes, but there’s something different about talking with a therapist. What is it? When we talk with a friend or family member about our troubles, that person might have their own needs or feelings that come up in response to what we’re saying. They may hope that we do a certain thing, or feel a certain way, rather than being able to listen without their own needs or bias coming into play.

By contrast, therapists are trained listeners. They know how to ask the right questions and zero in on your meaning. They listen between the lines, picking up on the emotional content of what you’re saying, so they can best help you identify your needs and find the answers you’re looking for. Feeling truly heard is powerful medicine, indeed, because it helps you move forward, no matter what the challenge, with greater self-awareness and wisdom. No venting session can quite accomplish that.

Myth #4: It’s not “good therapy” unless you cry a lot.

The reality is:

“Good therapy” provides a safe place to feel all your feelings, but there aren’t specific emotions that are required in order for therapy to be powerful and effective. This means that you might cry, at times, but you could also laugh, feel grateful, be angry or frustrated, feel inspired, be curious, feel proud, or have any other emotional experience. “Good therapy” is about the safety to feel whatever you feel, or don’t feel, without being judged for it.

Myth #5: Once you go to therapy, you’ll never leave.

The reality is:

The length of time for good therapy comes in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes a session or two can be enough to recenter yourself and move forward. At other times, or in other cases, a number of sessions over a few months or more can help you to make the kind of long-lasting progress that changes lives.

Research supports that there’s a positive relationship between length of treatment and positive outcomes in therapy. Yet, it’s also true that about 50% of clients recover from their presenting symptoms within 15 - 20 sessions. (Retrieved from: https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/patients-and-families/length-treatment). The length of time for therapy is best determined based on the type of concerns you have, the complexity of these concerns, and your level of commitment to the time and financial investment that therapy will be. Your therapist should check in with you periodically throughout the process to make sure you’re still working on important goals and making the kind of progress you want to make. When you’re ready, you will transition away from therapy and back into handling things on your own with the new tools and understandings that you’ve gained from the experience.

The Truth about Therapy

Moving beyond the myths and understanding the reality opens you to the many benefits that therapy can provide. At its best, therapy gives you an opportunity to safely and openly explore your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors in the context of a caring relationship. Investing in this deeper self-reflection is a unique experience, so rarely found elsewhere in life, in which you can discover your authentic self, create more meaning, and find more joy.

More Questions about Therapy in Wisconsin or Illinois?

If you’re still feeling unsure about whether therapy is right for you, feel free to give me a call at (920) 944-9700 or or schedule a free consultation with me so we can talk about what you’re looking for. I’m happy to hear about what is happening in your life and help you with finding what you need, even if it’s not me. If you’re looking for help with anxiety, depression, stress & burnout, work-life balance, career transition, or financial wellness, you can read more about how I can help with these issues by clicking here.